I was mesmerized.  So many people are, so very many.  When I look back I cannot for the life of me figure out why I did it.  Maybe it was my short attention span.  Thank you so much for that cable television.  Maybe it was out of laziness.  Still looking for something to blame other than myself for that one.  Maybe it was the bright and shiny prospect of renewing things that were lost or in the process of being lost.  That one is squarely on me.  Whatever it was started out as a good thing.  It was great!  It was fun.  It was interesting.  It was the no pressure, no expectations, spare time diversion I needed for some reason.  If I had a minute I did it.  If I had a hour I always found my way there.  Then I started to notice I was doing it just to do it.  For no good reason.  By that time though it had been months maybe a year.  What was accomplished? Nothing really.  Any original thoughts on my part?  One or two but nothing appreciated by those around me.  I was in a funk when it started and it did nothing but feed that funk.  It made it seem OK to be uninspired, uncreative*.  I made futile attempts to get out with no positive results.  Like Michael Corleone said in that piece of crap Godfather 3 "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in."  It was all too easy to stay hooked.  I learned nothing.  I didn't grow in any way, shape or form.  In fact, I atrophied mentally in a way.  I was a mafioso.  I was a farmer. A vampire and a zombie for a bit.  I even had a fish tank that ended tragically just like every other fish tank I ever had.  All that played a big part in the void in my life that only goes by one simple compound word:  Facebook.  

I was truly in a funk.  I couldn't come up with an original thought.  That was fine though because all I had to do was type one simple sentence about how hot it was today or how "I hate Mondays!" or even a simple "TGIF!!!" would be enough to get some mundane response of "so true".  If you were too lazy to do that all you had to do was hit the "like" button.  It was mind numbing but I fought my way past that.  The problem was I began running into people from my past who I hadn't thought about in years and that's the rub.  That is the thing that keeps people hooked I guess.  Old classmates old girlfriends/boyfriends.  I never ran across anyone new or made any new friends.  The only time I ever saw a name I didn't recognize it was someone looking to pad their friend count or it was some girl wanting me to see here pictures on some other site.   At first those internet whores were the only annoyance for me.  I didn't take that stuff personally but the personal stuff was sneaking up on me.  

There's a quote that says something to the effect that friends from your past are not part of your present or future for a reason.  I couldn't find the exact quote or who said it but I heard it about 10 months ago right as the announcement for my 25 year high school reunion came out  (go ahead do the math).  It was one of those moments that you only understand the true meaning of it all after it is too late.  At first I was into it for whatever reason.  I had never been to a reunion before why was I excited now?  I volunteered to help organize it.  Either my absence from past reunions or the fact that I didn't run with the "in" crowd kept me out of the organizing group.  I added old classmates to my friend list and made the requisite inquiries into what has happened since high school.  It became less and less exciting as time went by.  Some people who I thought I knew well so long ago didn't know who I was.  "That's strange" I thought to myself.  Some people dumped me as a friend because they had "too many friends".  Too many friends?  What the hell is that**? There was one former classmate who made a very non-specific apology about being "mean" to whoever.  It was very self serving and insincere.  It really pissed me off.  Not that I remember her doing anything "mean" to me specifically.  If that poison ivy she was trying to pass off as an olive branch bothered me how did it effect those who she was supposedly "mean" to?  

I'm starting to rant but I really needed to get this stuff out of my head.  

My point is Facebook kept a heavy thumb on my creative side, it slowly sucked my soul from my body and now it was stirring up thoughts that I unapologetically let go a long time ago.  Why are these dark clouds coming back into my life?  Why does it bother me so much?  I hit the ignore button but the request just keep coming in.  I love it when they ask me why I deny the friend request. I was going somewhere with this.............oh yeah.  Tonight the proverbial straw was laid on the hump of an even toed ungulate.  He was creepy and mean in 1985 and he is still creepy (and presumably still mean) in 2010.  He took a shot at me tonight.  We're not friends now and have not been since 1st grade.  25 years of not seeing this guy and the the first thing he does is go after me.  He knew nothing about me then and even less now because I am not even close to who I was then.  I won't go into the whole story but I made a comment to someone I knew.  It was a very self-effacing comment.  He didn't get it and used it against me. 

I really don't want this in my life but it just gets worse.  I want to write more silly stories that people actually take time to read.  I don't need for everybody to like it but I do want to know people can hold their interest long enough to read more than quip about how hot it is.  I know how hot it is and yes I am aware when it is Monday or Friday.

*Originally "uncreative" didn't seem like an actual word but according to Merriam-Webster online Thesaurus it is an acceptable antonym for creative.  

**I believe there is a difference between the social network friendship whores and people who just know a lot of people